The Inevitable Holiday Season Stress:
Welcome to the holiday season -- that whirlwind of gift-giving holidays, marketing blitzes, holiday parties and activities galore that begins right after Halloween, builds to Thanksgiving, and continues, gaining momentum, through the end of the year.
What Causes Holiday Stress?
It is the time of the year that we are to be HAPPY and celebrate.The holidays are supposed to be a time of celebration when friends and families get together to share food, fun, gifts, and love. They are supposed to be a time of giving, caring and connection when we celebrate important and meaningful events that have taken place over the year. It is too be a fun time adn not so STRESSFULL.
You can change the holiday season from stressful to peaceful just by your INTENT or your mood about things going on in the familly or around you.
At any given moment, we are always in one of two intents. Put in simple terms, it is either more important to you in any given moment to that can change the way you behave around your family and friends. You sometimes want to be LOVED by your family and your friends, and yourself. You want to get LOVE and approval of things that you have done. I will give you an example:
Lets say Marry is married with two children. Marry grew up in a family where she was trained to define her self- worth through other’s approval – that is, Marry believes that if others value what she does, she is okay, but if they don’t, then she is unworthy and unlovable. Therefore, Marrys almost constant intent is to get love and approval. She does this by trying to do everything perfectly – the house has to be perfect, the food has to be perfect, she has to get everyone the perfect gifts. She believes that if everything is perfect, she can have control over how others feel about her and she will get the approval she believes she needs to feel worthy.
Do you see the problem Marry is having, that trying to do everything perfectly creates a lot of stress. Whatever means we use – whether it be perfection, compliance, anger or blame - we will always be stressed when the intent is to have control over getting love and approval.
Because Marry does not know how to define her own worth, she feels empty inside until she gets approval. Once she gets the approval, she feels a moment of fullness, which rapidly disappears and then needs to be filled again with more approval. Others around her feel her pull for approval, and may also feel stressed in the face of it. They may like what she does for them, but they may not feel loved by her giving to them to get their approval.
Here is another example of a different way to do things:
Grace is also married with children. Grace also grew up to believe that her worth was based on other’s approval. However, Grace has done enough inner emotional and spiritual work to learn to define her own worth. Because she is no longer dependent upon others’ approval to define her worth, she is free to express herself in ways that are loving to herself and others. Rather than worrying about what anyone will think of her, Grace joyfully goes about decorating, cooking and buying presents because it’s fun for her to do so. For Grace, the holidays are an opportunity to express herself and her love for others. Because she is defining and expressing her own worth, she feels full inside. Approval may be the icing on the cake, but it is not the cake itself.
Because Grace receives such joy from expressing herself and giving to others without needing anything in return to feel worthy, others feel loved by her giving. While others may be stressed if they are giving to get approval, Grace, herself remains peaceful and joyful.
We all have a choice each moment to decide who we want to be – a person who is trying to have control over getting love and approval, or a person who is giving love to ourselves and others. Who we decide to be determines how we feel. If our intent is to get love and approval, then we may think that others determine our feelings, but it is really our own intent that is responsible for how we end up feeling.
The holidays will be much enjoyable for you andyour family and friends if before the holidays you give yourself -- the child that is in you to feel the approval he or she needs to feel worthy. Start right now to practice being in the intent to love yourself and others, perhaps by the time the holidays come around you can really have a good time!
Another way that holiday stress is caused by doing too much yourself. If you do things in moderation, as they say. The problem with the holiday season is that we often experience too much of a good thing. While stress itself is necessary for our survival and zest for life (researchers call this positive type of stress "eustress"), too much stress has a negative impact on our health, both mental and physical. Too many activities, even if they are fun activities, can culminate in too much holiday stress and leave us feeling frazzled, rather than fulfilled so we can enjoy the season.
Another good cause of stress this time of year is Eating, Drinking and Spending Too Much. Along with
An overabundance of parties and gift-giving occasions lead many people to eat, drink, and be merry -- often to excess. The temptation to overindulge in spending be on your means, rich desserts or alcohol can cause many people the lasting stress of dealing with consequences (debt, weight gain, memories of embarrassing behavior) that can linger long after the season is over.
The stress of being alone at this time of year is a big one. Because this time of year is time to be with extended families when they gather.While this can be a wonderful thing, even the most close-knit families can overdose on togetherness, making it hard for family members to maintain a healthy balance between bonding and alone time. Many families also have ‘roles’ that each member falls into that have more to do with who individuals used to be rather than who they are today, which can sometimes bring more dread than love to these gatherings. When you have family members that don't want to act like grown ups and still want to be a kid.
The holidays can be very stressfull for the person who does not have much of a family to go to during this time.
read more later
Welcome to the holiday season -- that whirlwind of gift-giving holidays, marketing blitzes, holiday parties and activities galore that begins right after Halloween, builds to Thanksgiving, and continues, gaining momentum, through the end of the year.
What Causes Holiday Stress?
It is the time of the year that we are to be HAPPY and celebrate.The holidays are supposed to be a time of celebration when friends and families get together to share food, fun, gifts, and love. They are supposed to be a time of giving, caring and connection when we celebrate important and meaningful events that have taken place over the year. It is too be a fun time adn not so STRESSFULL.
You can change the holiday season from stressful to peaceful just by your INTENT or your mood about things going on in the familly or around you.
At any given moment, we are always in one of two intents. Put in simple terms, it is either more important to you in any given moment to that can change the way you behave around your family and friends. You sometimes want to be LOVED by your family and your friends, and yourself. You want to get LOVE and approval of things that you have done. I will give you an example:
Lets say Marry is married with two children. Marry grew up in a family where she was trained to define her self- worth through other’s approval – that is, Marry believes that if others value what she does, she is okay, but if they don’t, then she is unworthy and unlovable. Therefore, Marrys almost constant intent is to get love and approval. She does this by trying to do everything perfectly – the house has to be perfect, the food has to be perfect, she has to get everyone the perfect gifts. She believes that if everything is perfect, she can have control over how others feel about her and she will get the approval she believes she needs to feel worthy.
Do you see the problem Marry is having, that trying to do everything perfectly creates a lot of stress. Whatever means we use – whether it be perfection, compliance, anger or blame - we will always be stressed when the intent is to have control over getting love and approval.
Because Marry does not know how to define her own worth, she feels empty inside until she gets approval. Once she gets the approval, she feels a moment of fullness, which rapidly disappears and then needs to be filled again with more approval. Others around her feel her pull for approval, and may also feel stressed in the face of it. They may like what she does for them, but they may not feel loved by her giving to them to get their approval.
Here is another example of a different way to do things:
Grace is also married with children. Grace also grew up to believe that her worth was based on other’s approval. However, Grace has done enough inner emotional and spiritual work to learn to define her own worth. Because she is no longer dependent upon others’ approval to define her worth, she is free to express herself in ways that are loving to herself and others. Rather than worrying about what anyone will think of her, Grace joyfully goes about decorating, cooking and buying presents because it’s fun for her to do so. For Grace, the holidays are an opportunity to express herself and her love for others. Because she is defining and expressing her own worth, she feels full inside. Approval may be the icing on the cake, but it is not the cake itself.
Because Grace receives such joy from expressing herself and giving to others without needing anything in return to feel worthy, others feel loved by her giving. While others may be stressed if they are giving to get approval, Grace, herself remains peaceful and joyful.
We all have a choice each moment to decide who we want to be – a person who is trying to have control over getting love and approval, or a person who is giving love to ourselves and others. Who we decide to be determines how we feel. If our intent is to get love and approval, then we may think that others determine our feelings, but it is really our own intent that is responsible for how we end up feeling.
The holidays will be much enjoyable for you andyour family and friends if before the holidays you give yourself -- the child that is in you to feel the approval he or she needs to feel worthy. Start right now to practice being in the intent to love yourself and others, perhaps by the time the holidays come around you can really have a good time!
Another way that holiday stress is caused by doing too much yourself. If you do things in moderation, as they say. The problem with the holiday season is that we often experience too much of a good thing. While stress itself is necessary for our survival and zest for life (researchers call this positive type of stress "eustress"), too much stress has a negative impact on our health, both mental and physical. Too many activities, even if they are fun activities, can culminate in too much holiday stress and leave us feeling frazzled, rather than fulfilled so we can enjoy the season.
Another good cause of stress this time of year is Eating, Drinking and Spending Too Much. Along with
An overabundance of parties and gift-giving occasions lead many people to eat, drink, and be merry -- often to excess. The temptation to overindulge in spending be on your means, rich desserts or alcohol can cause many people the lasting stress of dealing with consequences (debt, weight gain, memories of embarrassing behavior) that can linger long after the season is over.
The stress of being alone at this time of year is a big one. Because this time of year is time to be with extended families when they gather.While this can be a wonderful thing, even the most close-knit families can overdose on togetherness, making it hard for family members to maintain a healthy balance between bonding and alone time. Many families also have ‘roles’ that each member falls into that have more to do with who individuals used to be rather than who they are today, which can sometimes bring more dread than love to these gatherings. When you have family members that don't want to act like grown ups and still want to be a kid.
The holidays can be very stressfull for the person who does not have much of a family to go to during this time.
read more later
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