Joeckburg's blog

Ten Tips for Coping with Holiday Stress

This time of the year we start to look forward to the holidays. With the hope that there will be a time of happiness, friendliness, fellowship, and harmony. It is to be the time when we get the family together for a update on what has happen to them and their family since the last time we were all together. Yet often our anticipation and excitement turns into feelings of depression and/or family disharmony.

Part of what happens in the holiday season, in terms of mood changes and anxiety, may occur because of the stressfulness of holiday events and hoping that you have enough food for the big meal either on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. It may also be caused by overdrinking, overeating, and fatigue. The demands of the season are many: shopping, cooking, and travel house guests, family reunions, parties, office parties, and extra financial burden.

Sometimes people who are not generally depressed actually struggle with holiday depression more so than others. Symptoms can include headaches, insomnia, uneasiness, anxiety, sadness, intestinal problems, and unnecessary conflict with family and friends. It takes a lot of work to plan the meal and see that it is fixed right and looks good on the table when it is set for the family to sit and eat.

I would like to offer some suggestions and tools to help you get through the holiday season happily....as well as ways to prevent problems and misery for yourself and your loved ones:

1. Have an attitude of gratitude. Misery and gratitude cannot occupy the same space in our psychological house, and we have the power to choose between these emotional states. When looking up attitude and gratitude I found dome very interesting blogs and other sources. One interesting search lead me to this site: http://www.guideposts.com/health-wellness/health-mind/gratitude ?, this site has 10 articles that will do a better job of explaining the good side of having attitude of gratitude this time of year.

2. One golden rule to getting along with family....be responsible for how you behave, you certainly have no control over how your relatives behave. The most important part of avoiding holiday stress with our families is for each of us to feel mastery over, & satisfaction with, our own behaviors, attitudes & feelings. If you know in your head and your heart that you've acted like the best parent, child, brother, sister, friend that you know how to be, you can walk away from any difficulty feeling good about yourself. You will be proud that You and family members can have a great time of fellowship and enjoy the true meaning of Christmas.

3. When you're feeling depressed and lonely, go an volunteer with any number of groups that help underprivileged or hospitalized children, the homeless, or the aged and disabled at the holidays. If you go and volunteer at a hospital or care center you will get a feeling of friendship that will give you the best feeling you have ever had. If you do it just once at your church you will that there are many, many opportunities for doing community service. No one can be depressed when they are doing community service. If you bring a smile to just one person, they in turn smile back it will make your day brighter.

4. Decide upon your priorities and stick to them. Organize your time. Be reasonable with your schedule. Do not overbook yourself into a state of exhaustion--this makes people cranky, irritable, and depressed.

5 Remember, to keep things simple so that it is easy to do.
No matter what your plans, the holidays do not automatically take away feelings of aloneness, sadness, frustration, anger, and fear. So surround yourself with happy feelings with family and friends and you will get through the Holiday Season.

6. Be careful about resentments related to holidays past. Don't expect the holidays to be just as they were when you were a child. They NEVER are. YOU are not the same as when you were a child, and no one else in the family is either. On the other hand, if your memories of childhood holidays are awful, be grateful that you now have the capacity and skills to make them wonderful for yourself and those you love. Tell your family that you want this Holiday Season to be the happiest for everyone. So you and them could have great memories to be of Joyful, Happy, and Merry.

.

Plan unstructured, low-cost fun holiday activities: Like do some window-shopping and look at the Holiday decorations in the stores. That does not cost much and you have fun at the same time. Than when it gets dark take a walk around your neighbor hood and look at people's Christmas lighting on their homes, or get in your auto and take a trip to the countryside to see how people decorate their homes and farms, etc.--the opportunities are endless.

7. Do not let the holidays become a reason or excuse for over-indulging in food and drink and create unnecessary weight gain and hangovers for your self. This will exacerbate your depression and anxiety and make your get together with family and friends very STRESSFUL during the holidays. You do not need contrary to popular opinion to have any alcohol around or in any drinks, because alcohol is a depressant. Will have a much better and enjoyable time without adding alcohol to your party.

8. The last and most important thing to do is “Give your self a break”. Create a time for yourself to rest so you will be able to do the things YOU love to do. So you can enjoy the Holidays with your family that are visiting you from a long distance or that you have not seen for a long time.

If you keep only one thing in mind to combat the holiday blues, and wont to make it one Holiday Season to remember:

The choice is always yours:

The sky is partly sunny, and the glass is half full, if you want it to be that way.

Depression is usually a clinical disorder, but sometimes "the blues" confront all of us, particularly at holiday time. It may be caused by the memory of losing a loved one during the year or around a Holiday, feelings of disappointment, or just being run down from a lot of holiday parties, overeating, and drinking. But for many of us, holiday depression can be a choice we, in effect, choose to make. Or we choose not to make this choice and put on a smile, and focus on the sunny skies to brighten our mod and revel in our gratitude of our bounty, health, hope, and our courage to face each day with hope and determination. The Holidays are to bring JOY, PEACE, and LOVE and remember the true meaning of Christmas

Managing The Seemingly Inevitable Holiday Season Stress

[what's this?] Advertiser Links for Creating a BlogStart Your Own Blog NowCreate a Professional Presence with Customized Blogs from $8.95/mowww.TypePad.comYahoo! Web Hosting - Build Your WebsiteBuild your own website with Yahoo! free unlimited domain and webspaceYahoo.com/buildwebsiteCreate A Site For FreeCreate a Free Website. No Hidden Fees. No Technical Skills Needed.OfficeLive.com/Free-WebsiteCreating A Blog at AmazonBuy books at Amazon.com and save. Qualified orders over $25 ship free.Amazon.com/booksCreate Your Own Free BlogBuild A Professional Website In Minutes. Award-Winning. Try Free.www.Homestead.comMake Your Own Blog SiteMake A Professional Website For A Business. Fast & Easy. Try Free.Intuit.com/websites

via www.infodingo.com

Managing The Seemingly Inevitable Holiday Season Stress:

Welcome to the holiday season -- that whirlwind of gift-giving holidays, marketing blitzes, holiday parties and activities galore that begins right after Halloween, builds to Thanksgiving, and continues gaining momentum through the end of the year.

The holiday season, which begins for most Americans with Thanksgiving and the big prades and continues through New Year's Day, often brings unwelcome guests — stress and depression. And it's no wonder. In an effort to pull off a perfect holiday, you might find yourself facing a dizzying array of demands — parties, shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining, to name a few. So much for peace and joy, right?This can be a big problem for the person that has MS.

We can actually, with some practical tips, you can minimize the stress and depression that often accompany the holidays. You may even end up enjoying the holidays more than you thought you would. If we can recognize teh holiday triggers so we can learn to recognize the common holiday triggers, so you can disarm them before they lead to a meltdown: So I would like to list three big stressers that are very common this time of the year and can bring on STRESS in a big way for the person with MS. Examples below:

A. Relationships:
Relationships can cause a lot of turmoil, and conflict or stress at any time. The tensions are often heightened during the holidays. With Family misunderstandings and conflicts can intensify more— especially if you're thrust together for several days. On the other hand, facing the holidays without a loved one can be tough and leave you feeling lonely and sad. Not knowing how to talk to a family about a loss can casue big stress.

B. Finances. With the added expenses of gifts, an now today the high price of gas for travel, the coast of food and entertainment, the holidays can put a big strain on your budget — and your peace of mind. Not to mention that overspending now can mean financial worries for months to come.

C.Physical demands. Even die-hard holiday enthusiasts may find that the extra shopping and socializing can leave them wiped out. Being exhausted will increase your stress, creating a vicious cycle. Get a good Exercise program that you can do and stay with and it will help you sleep are good antidotes to fight stress and fatigue. So your stress can take a back seatso you can do your chores and errands and have a smile. To top it off, if you burned the wick at both ends will make you more susceptible to colds and other unwelcome guests.
I would like to give you 10 tips to help prevent the Holiday Stress and depression. So when stress is at its peak, it is hard to stop and regroup. Try to prevent stress and depression in the first place, especially if the holidays have taken an emotional toll on you and your familly in the past. Here are some sugestions to help you to make your Holiday Season better.

A. Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.

B. Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.

C. Be realistic. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can't come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videotapes.

D. Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they're feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression too.

E. Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don't try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Try these alternatives: Donate to a charity in someone's name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange.

F. Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That'll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.

G. Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't participate in every project or activity. If it's not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.

H.Don't abandon healthy habits. Don't let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and physical activity.

I. Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.

J. Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

I hope this will help take control of the holidays this year. Now just don't let the holidays become something you dread. Instead, take steps to prevent the stress and depression that can descend during the holidays. With a little planning and some positive thinking, you may find that you enjoy the holidays this year more than you thought you could.

The Inevitable Holiday Season Stress:

Welcome to the holiday season -- that whirlwind of gift-giving holidays, marketing blitzes, holiday parties and activities galore that begins right after Halloween, builds to Thanksgiving, and continues, gaining momentum, through the end of the year.

What Causes Holiday Stress?

It is the time of the year that we are to be HAPPY and celebrate.The holidays are supposed to be a time of celebration when friends and families get together to share food, fun, gifts, and love. They are supposed to be a time of giving, caring and connection when we celebrate important and meaningful events that have taken place over the year. It is too be a fun time adn not so STRESSFULL.
You can change the holiday season from stressful to peaceful just by your INTENT or your mood about things going on in the familly or around you.
At any given moment, we are always in one of two intents. Put in simple terms, it is either more important to you in any given moment to that can change the way you behave around your family and friends. You sometimes want to be LOVED by your family and your friends, and yourself. You want to get LOVE and approval of things that you have done. I will give you an example:

Lets say Marry is married with two children. Marry grew up in a family where she was trained to define her self- worth through other’s approval – that is, Marry believes that if others value what she does, she is okay, but if they don’t, then she is unworthy and unlovable. Therefore, Marrys almost constant intent is to get love and approval. She does this by trying to do everything perfectly – the house has to be perfect, the food has to be perfect, she has to get everyone the perfect gifts. She believes that if everything is perfect, she can have control over how others feel about her and she will get the approval she believes she needs to feel worthy.

Do you see the problem Marry is having, that trying to do everything perfectly creates a lot of stress. Whatever means we use – whether it be perfection, compliance, anger or blame - we will always be stressed when the intent is to have control over getting love and approval.

Because Marry does not know how to define her own worth, she feels empty inside until she gets approval. Once she gets the approval, she feels a moment of fullness, which rapidly disappears and then needs to be filled again with more approval. Others around her feel her pull for approval, and may also feel stressed in the face of it. They may like what she does for them, but they may not feel loved by her giving to them to get their approval.

Here is another example of a different way to do things:

Grace is also married with children. Grace also grew up to believe that her worth was based on other’s approval. However, Grace has done enough inner emotional and spiritual work to learn to define her own worth. Because she is no longer dependent upon others’ approval to define her worth, she is free to express herself in ways that are loving to herself and others. Rather than worrying about what anyone will think of her, Grace joyfully goes about decorating, cooking and buying presents because it’s fun for her to do so. For Grace, the holidays are an opportunity to express herself and her love for others. Because she is defining and expressing her own worth, she feels full inside. Approval may be the icing on the cake, but it is not the cake itself.

Because Grace receives such joy from expressing herself and giving to others without needing anything in return to feel worthy, others feel loved by her giving. While others may be stressed if they are giving to get approval, Grace, herself remains peaceful and joyful.

We all have a choice each moment to decide who we want to be – a person who is trying to have control over getting love and approval, or a person who is giving love to ourselves and others. Who we decide to be determines how we feel. If our intent is to get love and approval, then we may think that others determine our feelings, but it is really our own intent that is responsible for how we end up feeling.

The holidays will be much enjoyable for you andyour family and friends if before the holidays you give yourself -- the child that is in you to feel the approval he or she needs to feel worthy. Start right now to practice being in the intent to love yourself and others, perhaps by the time the holidays come around you can really have a good time!

Another way that holiday stress is caused by doing too much yourself. If you do things in moderation, as they say. The problem with the holiday season is that we often experience too much of a good thing. While stress itself is necessary for our survival and zest for life (researchers call this positive type of stress "eustress"), too much stress has a negative impact on our health, both mental and physical. Too many activities, even if they are fun activities, can culminate in too much holiday stress and leave us feeling frazzled, rather than fulfilled so we can enjoy the season.

Another good cause of stress this time of year is Eating, Drinking and Spending Too Much. Along with
An overabundance of parties and gift-giving occasions lead many people to eat, drink, and be merry -- often to excess. The temptation to overindulge in spending be on your means, rich desserts or alcohol can cause many people the lasting stress of dealing with consequences (debt, weight gain, memories of embarrassing behavior) that can linger long after the season is over.

The stress of being alone at this time of year is a big one. Because this time of year is time to be with extended families when they gather.While this can be a wonderful thing, even the most close-knit families can overdose on togetherness, making it hard for family members to maintain a healthy balance between bonding and alone time. Many families also have ‘roles’ that each member falls into that have more to do with who individuals used to be rather than who they are today, which can sometimes bring more dread than love to these gatherings. When you have family members that don't want to act like grown ups and still want to be a kid.

The holidays can be very stressfull for the person who does not have much of a family to go to during this time.

read more later

Welcome to TypePad! This is a sample post you can edit or delete later.